The Need To Get Motivated

I suffer some some really strange and horrible afflictions. The first of which is that winter time depresses me. I hate everything about it. I hate the way it looks, I hate the way if feels. I don't like the angle of the sun. I don't like the short days. I don't even like the names of the months in the Northern hemisphere. Last year I tried a to do a wintertime project on trees. I made some decent shots. I did it on film. I made some progress but honestly I was so lazy I never finished. Did I continue it this year - No.

That brings me to my second affliction. Personal projects. I cannot seem to ever finish any personal project. As I think about it, I have never ever, never finished a project I would classify as "personal". Now, this could be considered normal. In fact most humans are very bad at the whole concept of a "project". Don't get me wrong, most people are good at at least one kind of "task". A task is not a project, not even close. In fact in my experience most people really prefer dealing with tasks that somebody else defines as clearly as possible. So the fact that I can finish "tasks" but not "projects" is not surprising except for the fact that I am among the worlds greatest project managers - FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S PROJECTS. I have a talent for it. I could read you off a litany of proof and qualifications. Nothing can stop me from getting to the end. So how come I cant do my own?

I have narrowed it down to a scope control issue. In my professional life I am ruthless with requirements, scope management, and change control. I guess that's why I can be a successful "pro" photographer, software development executive, operations manager, etc. Now here is the affliction part - I don't like to be that way. That's why I don't do it 24x7 any more. That's one of the things I actually like about my personal photographic endeavors I like that I can meander and change my mind about all things image related and start over with nobody giving a crap. Unfortunately that means none of my "personal projects" ever get done. I have projects that have been going on 10 years running. I re-invent them, re-shoot them, re-think them. forget about them, get re-interested in them, but ultimately they languish in limbo land forever. Some on real paper, some on my hard drive.

So, what is this affliction? My diagnosis is complete and utter lack of something called balance. No balance of creative meandering and discipline. It's one or the other, I cannot seem to achieve both. It's either that or… it's some sort of strange thing where I can get done if it's not "mine" - some strange rationalization that I am shooting for "perfection" that will never be? Or is that a rationalization in and of itself?

Here is a question for all of you photographers out there. How good are you at finishing personal projects? What's your affliction? Right now my excuse is winter. Speaking of winter… I cannot believe this guy is going to the arctic in the wintertime! If you are cold weather photography lunatic like him you may want to follow his latest endeavor that starts in like a week.


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